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Coronavirus: Family’s broken heart with life-sustaining father

 


Martin family

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Suma Martin

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Sue Martin said a picture of the family was placed around the intensive care bed of her husband Maru

Behind the statistics and news reports, what about the reality of a family whose loved ones are very ill with Covid-19? Sue Martin, a 49-year-old public servant, told Seri Jackson of her daily challenges and the daily heartache of teenage children as her husband, 58, was treated for intensive care. You.

A hospital consultant called me yesterday and asked if I would like some photos of my husband and family.

He suggested laminating them and placing them around his intensive care bed. He looks calm as if sleeping, but only the ventilator keeps him alive.

“It can lose humanity,” the consultant said, and not only that, it will help medical staff get to know a little more of the people they were nursing.

Hopefully, the photo we have selected will give a glimpse of the man he is taking care of, which could be the last few hours.

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Media captionSue and the children William and Hana were able to spend 10 minutes with Mar to say goodbye to them

I want to tell you what Martin is really like. How were we happy after 28 years of marriage despite the tragedy and hardships of the family? How many people he loves. He always arrived on the dance floor first. His party work was an exciting production of “King of the Road”. He has spoken to two children, the eldest being almost lost in childbirth, and the youngest being miraculously figured out to have not been told to have a second child. Was a child.

His passion for Welsh rugby and his son William, 13, tells us that his father will never end his practice or games under Cowbridge RFC under the age of 14, unless he gets stuck on a side job. Or is a successful TikTok creative who is proud of her daughter Hana (16) and backed all over the world. Our miracles children. The pain in the heart was worth it.

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Suma Martin

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Mar supports rugby son William

Instead, I struggle to get over another day, repeating the living nightmares of the last 11 days in my mind over and over.

The day before Boris Johnson announced the Blockade, Mal complained that he was feeling sick. He felt he had gotten cold and had come down. “I just feel sick,” he said.

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Suma Martin

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Hana and Maru daughters watching Wales playing rugby

He worked several hours a day. The staff at his recruiting company is like a family to him, thinking about how to organize his laptop to work from home and protect his work through the coronavirus crisis. Was.

He slept to sleep that night. The next morning-it was so sudden-he could not get out of bed. All typical symptoms of Covid-19; sudden cough, very hot, painful, shivering.

From that day he was isolated in a room. He did not get out of bed except to use the bathroom. I took his drinks, food, paracetamol and constantly monitored his temperature.

He told me that he had never felt so bad in his life. “When will this be better? I can’t take it anymore,” he said. From what I read, he tried to reassure him that he would feel a little better from day 5.

His temperature will fluctuate. It normalized and I was relieved that he was around the corner, but then it goes up and down again …

By the time he was hospitalized, his body temperature was normal.

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Suma Martin

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Sue and the children formed Facetime Mal when they first entered the hospital

On the seventh day, he seemed to be getting worse. I rang 111 and twice I was on hold for 1 hour 22 minutes-this is the maximum hold time-before being disconnected. I know they were flooded.

I had a GP operation, and our doctor made a phone appointment with him. She taught me how to take his pulse and monitor his breathing rate.

She spoke to a hospital consultant and said he was also happy that he could be at home and monitor and report the deterioration. She rang daily to check Maru first, like others, and now I am.

By the following Sunday, his breathing rate had really increased. I rang 999. He was weak, but managed to walk to the ambulance.

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Suma Martin

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When Sue heard that Mar would be ventilated in the intensive care unit, she said that her “legs went from under her”

Until a nurse from Princess of Wales Hospital in Bridgend called me, I didn’t know where she was taken. Maru had her desperately ill and he had to go straight to intensive care for ventilation. My feet went from under me.

Why didn’t I know he was so sick? She looked at the note and reassured me that I did “ more ” and that his deterioration, which is common in Covid-19, was rapid and no one could do it .

She said that Mal had asked me to call because he was too upset to speak. They explained to him that he would have to sleep and that he might not wake up.

Me and the kids Facetimed him. We told him how much we love him, he needs to be fine. We wanted him home. He told Hana, “Don’t worry, I’ll go out for a while. I’ll go to your wedding to give you.”

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Suma Martin

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Mal had a heart attack 4 years ago and is diabetic

Then he said, “I have to go now. They are taking me.”

After that, we sent a message to each other. I sent a text saying I missed him already, and he replied, “I miss you too. I know it’s not my time. I promise to fight this.” Replying to “I’m really sorry to force you to send Wetabix”. For a few days I have worked hard to boost him and to feed him desperately. His last text to him was “Haha. That’s what it did.”

After that, my message did not arrive. Then they knew they would take him to intensive care.

A few days later, a slight improvement was seen, with a slight decrease in oxygen. Patients were warned that the probability of surviving ventilation was 50/50, but they did.

Maru is diabetic, genetic, and not lifestyle-related. Four years ago, he had a heart attack while watching William play in a rugby tournament, wearing three stents. He recovered well, ran the park regularly, but did not drink or smoke heavily. The doctor reassured us that his diabetes was controlled and that he was healthy and healthy.

But one of the daily calls brought the news we were afraid of-a consultant explained that he was getting worse, they would have had to restore oxygen. They worried about his kidneys and arteries, and his hands were cold.

They tried to make him lie on his stomach to help his lungs, but that made no difference. They connected him to the dialysis machine. His kidney was broken.

Sunday-Day 7 of hospitalization-The consultant prepared me for the worst. Maru was at the maximum amount of adrenaline he could give to maintain blood pressure high enough to pump enough blood to maintain the organ. He was on the verge and there was nothing he could do for them.

They told me he was unlikely to survive.

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Suma Martin

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Seventeen days later, Sue and the children were allowed to visit Mar at the hospital for 10 minutes, but were not allowed to touch him.

I begged them to see him. When Mar became ill, we would all have had mild symptoms of Covid-19. We are now on day 17 and isolated for 14 days, and the doctor said we could leave the house. I begged them to do whatever they could.

Ward’s sisters have begun the shift shortly. She talked to the consultant and called me. “How fast can you get here?” She asked me. “I will take you waiting for you, but you need to wear full protective clothing, you can not touch him, you can only have 10 minutes. I can talk to him. “

She was exhausted after a full shift, but stayed for us. I can’t explain how grateful she is.

We couldn’t touch him, but we could approach him. He had many tubes, but as I said, he was as peaceful as sleeping. We told him we loved him. It was painful for the children. They say, “We’re going to make you a proud father,” and hear, “We’ll take care of your mother.” I told them, “But you’re already proud of him.”

I promised him to always call his father.

At that time we thought we were saying goodbye. I thought Monday would be his last day.

On Monday, there was unprecedented improvement. There was no improvement in his kidneys, lungs, arteries, but his blood pressure had risen slightly so far that he could slightly reduce the amount of adrenaline he was giving, so he was no longer The maximum has not been reached.

We don’t know what to do ourselves, we don’t know how to feel. It’s a torture that feels alive in a nightmare. I didn’t know of such pain, as someone constantly pierces me into my heart and twists the knife.

I think it is difficult to swallow food for now. We do not sleep. I and my kids are sitting up in the same bed, waking up until early in the morning, so that when I was a kid I watched their DVDs and saw my father.

The first thing I think when I get up is “OK, they aren’t ringing me all night, so he’s still alive” and a daily call from a consultant begins. The phone line is clear so we don’t know when. And when the phone rings, it’s totally panic.

My parents who were so difficult for them to be unable to be with us and to be with their grandchildren cannot be seen. Being isolated from friends and family makes it very difficult to cope with this, but the people are very cooperative and dropped shopping, meals, cakes, flowers and plants-comfort to us Something to bring. A friend sat two meters outside my door and drove for one hour to stay with me.

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Suma Martin

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Hospital staff “ buy him literally to give his body a chance to recover from the virus ”

Yesterday I received a message from a nurse who was with him when he first was hospitalized before he went to the ICU. She said she remembered him and he was talking about how proud his children were.

The thing that bothers me the most is the hours he was there knowing what will happen, and since we couldn’t be there considering how scared he was, Brought some comfort.

They are literally buying him to give his body a chance to recover from the virus. There is nothing else they can give him. All they can do is give him time.

I am, thank all hospitals that all hospitals are trying to do for him and endanger their lives and try to save him. They were wonderfully supportive, caring and empathetic during such difficult times.

I just want you to think. Talking about our experience, stopping one or two people from going out can save another life. Until that happens, you don’t know how to run down. Do not take risks. If you get over this crisis, if everyone around the table is still there, you are incredibly lucky.

It is not worth sacrificing the lives of loved ones or hospital workers. For a bike ride with a friend or for a partner to get irritated and go out … one moment that might relieve a bit of boredom might completely upset your life.

I don’t want Mal to be another statistic. I want people to know him and know how wonderful he is.

The pictures here and the pictures posted around his hospital bed are the only way to show that he is the best and our hearts are broken again and again.

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