Why James Franco’s Hollywood survival is tied to the silly ‘brothers before the hoes’ code

In one so-called post- # MeToo era, we got used to seeing women dare talk about the exploitative men with whom they worked. But unfortunately it has been much rarer to see men follow the fearless example of these women.

This is probably why actor Seth Rogen reveals new details about his friendship break-up and his long-standing partnership with James Franco, accused of sexual misconduct by five actresses, attracts the attention that it is. (Franco denies the allegations.)

The irony is that women, who are statistically more likely to speak out, have a lot to lose when they speak out about abuse, while men, who are more likely to remain silent, often have a lot to gain. Women regularly face punishment, Punishment or worse, be completely excluded from their industry. The backlash is much worse for women of color and those who identify as LGBTQ +, and since the roles of women with disabilities are virtually non-existent, silence is often the only option. But men in Hollywood, especially the wealthy, white, cisgender, and straight, have so much unused social capital that is wasted when they don’t speak out.

We often talk about verifying our privilege, but when it comes to powerful men in Hollywood, it is shocking that so few of them invest some of that privilege. Influential men often even receive praise and high-fives when they talk about sexism. So why do they stay so lukewarm to do it?

One of the reasons we don’t often hear men talk about gender-based violence is that it is always mistakenly viewed as a women’s issue due to our patriarchal programming. In a sexist society, women are held accountable for men’s behavior; it fuels the belief that it is women who must mend broken men.

But in a patriarchal society, it is not only women who fear men, men also fear other men. And the silly male code “bros before hoes” means that men are afraid to resist other men. A recent report showed that 94% of men experience male anxiety when they’re at work, which researchers define as the distress men experience when they don’t think they live up to society’s rigid standards of masculinity. The men in the study who felt the most worried about proving their masculinity to other men were the least likely to act when they found out about sexism.

In other words, the more a man is unsure of his masculinity performance, the more he is afraid of other men’s opinions about him. And the strongest men are those who are true to themselves rather than to other men.

In one interview with The Sunday Times To promote his new book, “Yearbook,” Rogen said it’s no coincidence that he and Franco haven’t collaborated in years, and that he regrets playing down the allegations of Francos misconduct. Rogen explained that he wished he hadn’t. Franco undercover attacking a 17-year-old girl in a “Saturday Night Live” skit and in some of her past responses in the press.

I also think back to that 2018 interview where I said I would continue to work with James, and the truth is I didn’t and don’t plan on doing it right now, a- he declared. What I can say is that I despise abuse and harassment and would never cover up or hide the actions of someone who does, or knowingly put someone in a position where they are. found with someone like that.

Rogens’ confession follows Franco settle a lawsuit for sexual misconduct in February without admitting fault. The two women in the case accused him of inappropriate and sexually accused behavior and said he created Studio 4, his theater and film school, to provide him and his male collaborators with a pool. young performers they could benefit from. .

While Rogens’ response was rather positively received As a rare example of men who oppose male violence against women, actor Charlyne Yi, who says Franco exploited and abused her, won’t let him get away with it. In one Instagram post, she called out Rogen for marginalizing vulnerable women by publicly siding with an abuser, further damaging their careers and safety. Yi also created a list of demands for action on Rogens’ part that included an apology directly to the alleged victims of Francos and pledging to hire survivors in his future endeavors.

Earlier this year, she accused Rogen to allow Franco. Seth Rogen literally made a statement saying that men’s opinions didn’t matter on a men’s issue, but continued SNL using his white male voice and power to sketch with Franco normalizing the prey of underage girls, she said.

Because the examples of men challenging their violent male friends in Hollywood are so rare, it is difficult to cite examples of successful men.

Of course, just because we don’t see men breaking this toxic masculine code doesn’t mean that it can’t be done. Michael Kaufman, author of The Time Has Come: Why Men Must Join the Gender Equality Revolution and co-founder of the International White Ribbon Campaign, a group of men dedicated to ending male violence against women, says there is no one size fits all. universal model for men who have friends or family who turn out to be abusers. If a woman is in immediate physical danger I could say this friend should call the police, but if you’re black it might not be safe for anyone, he says. So, I am reluctant to make a general statement.

While every situation is different, it’s imperative that men understand that saying nothing is not passive. Its assets, it allows the aggressor to act without impunity. Most men don’t use violence in our relationships. But most men have remained silent about the physical, sexual and emotional abuse, Kaufman said. As men look to other men to define our ideas of manhood, our silence allows the violence to continue. It is essential that all men speak out against violence against women and other forms of gender-based violence, including against LGBTQ people. Whether in our homes, on the streets or in our workplaces, men must stand with women to say that this violence must stop now.

If men need new models of bravery to develop the courage to challenge other men, they should look to all the indomitable women who already do.