“Auntie” or “Nani” are not the insult you think

Over the past week, a curious incident occurred involving two singers, which quickly turned into a social media war. Sara Raza Khan called Aima Baig an “auto-tune” artist, noting that Baig would be unable to “sing” without the prowess of computer auto-tune. Aima Baig duly responded to Sara Raza Khan's comments by first posting a never-before-seen video of her singing on Instagram, followed by a message that she is open to criticism from an 'attention-seeking aunty' – provided that the “aunt” in question spares the others. the female artists of his anger.

I must confess that I don't follow Pakistani celebrities and only became aware of the whole incident through my late night Instagram scrolling. I would have happily dismissed this incident as another case of petty arguments between Pakistani public figures if Baig had not referred to Sara Raza Khan as “aunty”. Feeling slightly triggered, perhaps because I'm dangerously close to an aunt's age myself (and already resisting TikTok), I looked up Sara Raza Khan's age. I would also like to add a disclaimer here that I don't have a horse in the race (lest Baig gets upset, and the next thing I know I'm also labeled as a “aunt”, all in the name of female solidarity As you can see, this word terrifies me.

Anyway, it turns out that Sara Raza Khan is actually younger – she's 28, while Aima Baig is 29. I was still processing this when I looked up the age of Imran Khan and Maryam Nawaz Sharif and I found out that Imran Khan is around 20 years older than Punjab. chief minister. Given Imran Khan's frequent use of the word “nani” (maternal grandmother) to refer to her, I had long assumed that Maryam Nawaz Sharif was older than him!

So one thing is clear: calling someone “aunty” or “nani” has nothing to do with their actual age. Rather, these are subtle but pervasive forms of casual sexism in Pakistani society. “Auntie” or “nani” is a slur, an insult, intended to mean that if a woman looks or dresses a certain way (mostly oriental attire) or has children or grandchildren, then his default opinion is wrong. The implication is that if a woman fits certain stereotypes, her judgment is invalid – simply because she is a woman. “Auntie” or “nani” are convenient adjectives that women can easily use to dismiss and insult them in any way necessary, depending on the context – in politics, in showbiz, in public places – at any time and in any place.

If you disagree with a woman, no problem – just call her “auntie” and move on with your life triumphantly!

The humorous side, of course, is that while calling Sara Raza Khan an aunty, Aima Baig claimed to have upheld the banner of women empowerment. I am tempted to write more about the irony, but then I remember Imran Khan's repeated attacks on Maryam Nawaz, calling her a “nani”, or the opposition calling Benazir Bhutto a “taxi peeli”, the all in the name of national interest, and I leave my case.

Under the guise of piety, women have always felt free to attack their fellow human beings – it is enough to express their solidarity with the rights of women – to learn, to work, to choose – to be stigmatized by the most insulting most insulting: from “liberal”, most often by women themselves

However, I can't help but wonder if anyone has ever called a male celebrity “uncle”, “grandma” or “dad” as an insult? Of course not! Because for men, these terms always have a complementary connotation: he is old and experienced, which does not make him an uncle but a wise man. He is a grandfather, which means that he is a “father of a family”, and not an old man who is undoubtedly unfit for the position.

This whole episode reminded me of Maryam Nawaz's son's wedding a few years ago. There is a Facebook group called “Super Talented Women” and, for reasons unknown to me, I was added to the group by a friend. Anyway, in this all-female group, someone posted the photos of Sharif's festivities. I understand that people have political differences, but what deeply shocked me were the sexist comments. Women – mothers, aunts, even nannies – would shame another woman simply because she chose to dress for her son's wedding. The comments included insults solely about Sharif's age – too old to be dressed, giving “competition” to his new daughter-in-law – all in the name, once again, of the national interest. The irony remains: insulting other women using ageist terms, presumably for the greater good.

Of course, women preying on other women is a story as old as patriarchy itself. In a patriarchal context, there is often an unspoken script that subtly teaches women to view each other as rivals rather than allies. And when state-sanctioned religion remains the driving force in the moral and social fabric of society, it becomes even easier to police women. Under the guise of piety, women have always felt free to attack their fellow human beings – it is enough to express their solidarity with the rights of women – to learn, to work, to choose – to be stigmatized by the most insulting more insulting: of “liberal”, most often by women themselves! And add an ageist slur to the mix, too, and you get an “aunty” or “nani,” hell-bent on making trouble.

I remember Noor Mukaddam had just been brutally murdered when this Facebook post about Sharif was created. I left a scathing response to one of the comments saying that women don't need men for misogyny when women themselves hate other women so easily. This whole episode with Aima Baig only proved that to be true.

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