“She Was Her”: Finding Love Amidst the Türkiye Earthquake | Türkiye and Syria earthquake

Gaziantep, Turkey – A few hours after the first devastating earthquake that struck southern Turkey and northern Syria last year, Ahmed Nashed decided to marry his partner, Anna Rudnichenko.

Ahmed, 30, and Anna, 23, were sleeping in their old apartment on the eighth floor when the first tremors woke them from a deep sleep.

The two massive earthquakes, which occurred just hours apart, killed more than 50,000 people in both countries. The couple, who hail from Syria and Ukraine respectively, assumed the noise and destruction was the result of an air strike, an event they were familiar with.

It took them a few minutes to realize that it was an earthquake that none of them had ever witnessed in their lives.

From their cozy home in Gaziantep, as they talk about the final details of their first Valentine's Day as husband and wife, they explain that they had never talked about marriage before the tragedy.

Rodnichenko decided to move to Turkey from her native Zaporizhia in 2021, seeking independence after graduating from university. “I always had this attraction to Turkey because when I was young, I lived here for a few years,” she told Al Jazeera.

She chose Gaziantep, a city famous for its cuisine, where she found part-time jobs in hotel management and teaching English.

For her, it was not a choice that was imposed on Ahmed because of the conflict sweeping his country. In 2012, after participating in protests in his native Aleppo, which over time led to clashes with the government and the outbreak of war, his parents sent him and his sister to a safe place in Gaziantep, across the border.

Since then, Nashed has been working with Syrian humanitarian organizations in Turkey while cultivating his passion for electronic music in Room41, a group of Syrian and Turkish DJs trying to liven up the nights in Gaziantep.

Proposal, sunset and ring [Courtesy of Anna Rudnichenko]

Initially disappointed by Gaziantep's lack of nightclubs, Rodnichenko ended up attending one of Room41's parties.

“All I remember from that night is that the music suddenly stopped very early, in my opinion, around one in the morning,” Rudnichenko recalls. “So I went to the console, very angry, and complained to the DJ and asked him why the party was already over,” she laughs from the sofa as she sips a hot cup of Turkish tea.

Nashid remembers being confused by the way she approached him, but all day he felt like he was going to meet someone that night.

It took some time, but eventually their friendship developed into something more. Dating someone from a different background makes the relationship richer, says Nashid.

Rodnichenko had never met a Syrian refugee, and was fascinated by Nashid's story. Little did she know that in less than a year she would also become a refugee.

When the war started in Ukraine, Nashid knew the exact words to comfort his partner because he had been through them.

“We now have something more in common that brings us closer,” he says. “We were very upset for our countries, but as a Syrian with a decade-long background in war trauma management, I knew how to impart the skill of staying calm while your loved ones are stuck in a war zone.”

While the unusual couple shared a tragic backstory, it also highlighted the significant differences in their displacement.

As a Syrian living in Turkey, Nashed says he faces a lot of racism. “I always felt like I had to hide my identity, try not to speak Arabic on the streets or portray the best version of myself so as not to be labeled as the ‘bad guy,'” he explains.

Turkey hosts more than three million Syrian refugees, and the country has witnessed tensions between it and the local population since 2012, highlighted by the repercussions of the earthquake and the national elections, which were characterized by a fierce campaign against the Syrians.

Anna and Ahmed got married on Christmas Day [Courtesy of Anna Rudnichenko]

On the other hand, since early 2022, Turkey has also welcomed thousands of Ukrainian refugees, who feel more welcome and integrated. In Gaziantep, the two refugee communities live together but are treated differently. “When I say I am Ukrainian, I feel a lot of compassion and empathy,” says Rudnichenko. “But the same thing does not happen to Ahmed.”

In February 2023, Nashid and Rudnichenko spent a few days in a shelter in the city before being evacuated to a hotel in Ankara via Nashid's workplace. They were so shocked that they decided to leave Gaziantep.

They looked into resettlement programs in Canada, but ultimately chose Germany, a common destination for Syrian and Ukrainian refugees. Rudnichenko left first, hoping to get help upon arrival.

“But since I did not come directly from Ukraine, I could not qualify as a refugee, even though I could not return to my country, which is the description of a refugee,” she explains. The same applies to Nashid, as the Syrian crisis is no longer considered an emergency in Europe, allowing Syrian asylum seekers to be accepted for resettlement.

In Germany, Rudnichenko finally faced the same kind of racism that Syrians experience daily in Gaziantep. “Only then, was I able to truly empathize with what Ahmed had lived through for more than 10 years,” she says.

After five months, they decided to surrender and stay in Türkiye. Meanwhile, life had returned to normal in the earthquake zone and they felt safe enough to return to Gaziantep together.

Last September, during a trip to the Princes' Islands in Istanbul, Nashid proposed to Rodnichenko, and they were married in Gaziantep on Christmas Day.

After last year, they never imagined they would spend Valentine's Day in Gaziantep. But they say the city – despite its tragedy – remains their ideal refuge.

“Whatever the future holds for us, spending it with the right person makes the world and this life a little less traumatic,” says Nashid.

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