Fashion
I planned a wedding that never happened; I won't do it again
I have two pictures of my wedding dress never worn I saved this photo on my phone. One is from a styled photoshoot a friend invited me to do just three months after my engagement ended. The other is of the bride who bought the dress from me four years later, wearing it on her wedding day.
Like many women, I I dreamed about my wedding For most of my life, I lived a time of celebration, joy, and unity. But when I fell in love in my late twenties and got engaged two years later, those dreams faded as we planned our wedding.
Our decisions, especially our decision not having children present, sparked strong opinions and tensions among his family members. Suddenly, there was not much joy left.
I started to feel like we should run away
During the year before our wedding, her mother decreased her communication with us. Her sister-in-law decided not to attend. Her parents arranged a engagement with all their friends, which ended in an argument over who was and was not on the guest list.
I began to question my own desires. The social norms surrounding marriage suddenly seemed meaningless. Despite my call to escapeMy ex-fiancé preferred the traditional approach. Ultimately, our relationship ended a month before the wedding, due to stress and family tensions, but not only because of them.
My experience is not unique. Many women I know feel caught between traditional expectations and what they really want.
Two years ago, I attended a high school friend’s beautiful wedding in Napa. Recently, she told me, “I wish we would elope.” Despite a guest list that was half of what they had planned, they ended up going way over budget. She also faced family pressure to exclude her father, with whom she was beginning to rebuild a relationship.
I did a lot for others
Before you start planning my own weddingI was swept up in this often glamorous process. Once I began, I constantly feared that the choices my ex-fiancé and I were making would not meet the expectations of those we cared about.
Although our guest list was longer than we had originally intended, his parents expressed disappointment that we hadn’t invited more of their friends. When we opted for a blessing before dinner instead of multiple speeches, I wondered if we might offend someone who was hoping to say a word. Even the menu selection felt like a test.
The weight of it all turned what I thought would be an exciting chapter in our lives into a major source of stress and anxiety. I didn’t care about tents, dishes, or fancy portable toilets; all I wanted was a meaningful celebration that truly reflected our love and values.
I still want to get married
Two months ago, my new partner and I attended a wedding in Puerto Rico and met a lovely family from New Jersey on a food tour of Old San Juan. As we ate chocolate croissants and candies at our last stop, the husband and wife shared their escape story.
The bride explained to me that they had not planned anything in advance and had worked out the details once they arrived in New Zealand. As I listened to their story, I was inspired by their carefree approach to love and commitment. She pulled out her phone to share photos from their wedding. They looked content, relaxed, totally present, exactly how any newlywed should feel.
I am 40 years old and it has been nine years since the wedding that did not take place. I have been in a wonderful and loving relationship for almost four years. I keep these two photos of my wedding dress to remind me of its beautiful evolution and mine.
I still want to get married, but without the fanfare. Today, my dream wedding seems simpler and much more joyful. There will be no engagement rings, invitations, guest lists, flower arrangements, or caterers. Just us and the birds, in a wild and open place. And of course, a delicious slice of cake. If there’s one wedding tradition worth keeping, it’s cake.
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