There's a common culprit behind many broken resolutions and other unrealized goals, and it can influence your thoughts and actions without you even realizing it, says Safia Debar, MBBS, a GP and resilience expert at Mayo Clinic Healthcare in London. If you're having trouble achieving goals to exercise more, eat nutritious meals and take other steps toward a healthier lifestyle, it may be worth considering whether a self-limiting belief is to blame, says Dr. . Debar.
In this expert warning, Dr. Debar strategies for identifying and neutralizing this barrier to success.
A self-limiting belief is a thought or belief that you see as the truth about yourself or the world around you and that limits you from your full potential, she explains.
“It's fundamentally a truth you have about yourself that doesn't serve you,” says Dr. Debar. “Some self-limiting beliefs might be that you can't lose weight, that you have a sweet tooth. Well, actually no one has a sweet tooth. Other self-limiting beliefs might be that you're lazy, you can't exercise, you hate the gym. Well , you can leave the gym to exercise.”
The first step toward eliminating a self-limiting belief is becoming aware of it, says Dr. Debar. That may require reflection, because self-limiting beliefs are often present without you consciously knowing it, and your mind is remarkably good at looking for and sometimes even creating evidence to confirm them, she adds.
“For example, if someone feels like they want to eat healthier or incorporate more exercise into their day, but then go on to feel like they're not good enough, or that they're not worthy of self-care, or that he doesn't.” worth prioritizing their health, and that other people's needs are more important, then they will sabotage the positive lifestyle changes that would serve them,” says Dr. Debar. “They will sabotage that behavior because it makes sense: 'Why should I eat well if I'm not worth it? Why should I set a boundary or put myself first if I'm not worth it?'”
Because underlying beliefs can have a major impact on the behavioral changes you want to make, it's ideal to know what those beliefs are and ask yourself whether or not they serve you, says Dr. Debar. It can help to write down thoughts in a journal or talk about them with a trusted person, she suggests.
“Any time something happens, a dynamic, something that has an emotional charge, it's always a good opportunity to ask and record: What is the story you're telling yourself? What do you believe about yourself?” she says. “I call this a thought dump, or stream of consciousness. When something happens, just write down what's in your head. Then when you reread it and there are any known distortions of your thoughts, that will tell you if this is a limiting belief. Then you can see whether this is a limiting belief.” you start to get to know your internal story.”
For example, if you are questioning the belief that you cannot lose weight, consider the following:
–Where did I learn that I can't lose weight?
–Where did I see that?
–Am I fully informed about the actual process of losing weight?
-What emotion am I trying to feel, or what emotion am I trying to avoid?
Often people discover that their self-limiting beliefs don't originate within themselves at all, but instead come from teachers, caregivers, family members, society, culture, or other sources, says Dr. Debar.
Then identify small steps you can take to achieve your goal, she recommends. The brain doesn't like change. So it's about taking small, regular, consistent actions and being aware of your internal dialogue so that you expect resistance, but remember why you want to make the change, and question the beliefs that are blocking you,” says Dr. Debar.
“We start by saying we're going to exercise every day, drink less alcohol, get up at 5 a.m., meditate for 45 minutes, be the nicest person ever, and two weeks later we realize all these emotions are coming up. and all this resistance comes up,” she explains. “A better approach would be to ask what the most important goal is, and then approach it in small steps. For example, if you want to exercise, start with a few minutes a day , where you think it is not necessary significant change from what you were doing before. Five minutes a day means you have developed a habit, so you can cherish the belief that you will keep it: you have kept your promise, you are consistent.”
Dr. Debar recommends breaking down a series of healthy lifestyle changes by starting with the easiest thing you can do. If your goal is to eat healthier meals, start by eating an extra serving of fruits or vegetables each day, and after you've done that for a few weeks, you can think of yourself as someone who eats fruits and vegetables. , who loves fruits and vegetables.
“It's a very different approach from the person who starts trying everything and two weeks later feels very demoralized, and, paradoxically, goes deeper into the things he doesn't want to do and makes him feel bad about himself” , says Dr. Debar.
The good thing about the new year is that it gives people momentum and a little willpower, she says.
“But we can't rely on willpower to change behavior,” adds Dr. Debar. “It has to start with small, incremental, consistent change.”
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