Boris Johnson cracked down on crime. Except when the coronavirus wants to attack Britain | Marina Hyde | Opinion

Exciting news in Johnsonian linguistics this week, as the Prime Minister’s response to the coronavirus goes beyond his previous metaphor. It may be encouraging. I am not a clinical expert, although based on Johnsons’ repeated personal experience of sending packaging, this suggests that we are currently depositing trash bags of coronaviruss clothing from a window on the upper floor. . But also that it will have made its way in November, going I’ve changed. Muted, whatever.

Johnson has now decided that the virus is an attacker. On Monday, he explained that this is the time when we started fighting together against the ground. Which is a way of revealing the fact that he did take the rugby attacker to Twickenham on March 7. People say the other parties are soft on crime, but at least they don’t start 250,000 race meetings for it. At least they don’t watch it in Italy and Spain, then leave all their valuables unattended while they organize Cobra meetings to finalize a divorce or keep pubs open or do whatever the Johnson government preferred to do during those lost weeks while we watched the virus come to us via seemingly uneducational experiences from other countries.

For many people, the only tolerable debate is the debate about locking in a situation that clearly suits government.

For those fortunate enough not to have lost loved ones in a sinister, lonely death, or to be one of the millions in need of food aid, there is a vital debate as to what will become of the climate. of dominant coronavirus. Will it be a slight disappointment in the making of bread, or a false self-depreciation about home school students smarter than the teacher? It is certainly a dilemma. But can I opt for neither? It seems more likely that the spirit of the time will be a mass choosing to forget a vast distraction that will settle on the cock-ups like a pale psychic. Why don’t we expect better? I guess it saves time.

No matter the late turn around on the lock, no matter the abandonment of contact tracing, no matter that the government has ignored a warning from its own advisers to store the essential kit, leaving it without essential pandemic supplies when the virus struck, no matter that without counting deaths outside hospitals, the toll is somewhere north of double the current official figures. Instead, imagine these unfortunate things and others that are nailed and locked in crates, to be stored in the vast government warehouse at the end of Raiders of the Lost Ark. .

Our own top men emerge every day at 5 p.m. from the double doors of Downing Street, which is just a puff of dry ice apart from a performance we could call Sars in Their Eyes. Think of this ministerial directory society as the Good News. You can certainly always count on a chewing performance from the sets of Matt Hancock, whose over-competition increasingly competes with certain Harry Potter actors. Hancock does not play so much in the back row as in the international space station.

As for the press they receive, the government has an absurd chance with some of its critics. The 1918 Spanish flu pandemic, which may have originated in North America, was called Spanish flu because the country appeared to be particularly affected by the disease. This was not the case. Spanish newspapers have just faithfully reported its devastating effects. Unlike Spain, a neutral power in the First World War, countries like the United Kingdom and the United States were struggling with legislation banning reporting that lowered morale. This has led to what is often classified as a catastrophic failure of the fourth domain. The vital health reports were relegated to disdainful paragraphs, so that the mass rallies took place and the bitterest harvest was harvested. Meanwhile, newspapers like the Washington Times have put much emphasis on a photo of a soldier chasing a turkey wearing a fez, under the title THANK YOU ACTION COMES! Thanksgiving was a month away.

We have no censorship in the current pandemic, of course. There is therefore no legal reason for the Sun to take stock of the dead as a tiny particle of disease on page one, without relating to the large title announcing PUBS SHUT TILL XMAS. Presumably, the approach is popular.

So many people think that journalists do not ask enough difficult questions and even more think that they should not ask questions at all. For them, the only tolerable debate is the lockdown debate which clearly suits the government. The Good News Bears love the lockdown debate. Why wouldn’t they do it? Every second you have the debate on locking is a second that you don’t have the debate that begins how, in the name of our necrotic self-respect, are we about to be the most affected country in Europe when we had so many warnings? Well. Perhaps these discussions are not considered to be apparently British. Or to put it another way, you won’t surprise us by being attacked by reality.

Marina Hyde is a Guardian columnist

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