Living with chronic cancer, learning to reframe gives me strength

When I heard that your cancer is incurable, I thought I had two options. And, of course, these were the only words I first heard shouted at me. “But you can endure for a long time.”

I had to decide between living with a progressive, chronic cancer or whining and worrying about it. An article titled “Cognitive-behavioral therapy” was reviewed by staff at our center. psychology today According to the journal, cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT) encourages patients to identify challenges and consciously focus on how they can change their responses in a positive direction.

I don’t want to mislead you. It took me a while to get here and I had to learn to reconstruct what I was hearing. I had to educate myself first and refocus. It made me realize how lucky I was to have a slow-growing small lymphocytic lymphoma and lots of research ahead of me. The doctor said, “If you can live 10 years, new treatments will make you live longer.” So that became my goal.

13 years have passed since then, and I am very grateful that I was able to exceed 10 years. I am grateful that I chose not to live with these clouds looming over me every day. How much of my life would have been wasted if I did?

After IV antibody therapy, irradiation of lymphocyte-infiltrated facial soft tissues, immunoglobulin infusions every four weeks, and BTK inhibitors, now oral, I used reframing or I had to use some other method. Each time, I had to give myself time to get over the shock of hearing what I had to do next. Then I forced myself to consciously focus on all the new medical advances that had been available since my diagnosis. I am grateful that I am living a “normal” life.

This didn’t just happen. I needed practice. It was necessary to practice gratitude. This can really help everyone, cancer patients or not.

I recently had tear duct surgery due to a chronic infection. I had to plan accordingly. The surgery causes heavy bleeding, as do the medications taken by mouth. As a result, I had to discontinue it for a week before and after surgery. The operation was originally scheduled for October of this year. I had already stopped taking my medications, but a few days ago my surgeon had an emergency and I had to stop taking them. Even though I had only taken a few days off the medication, I was hesitant to resume oral chemotherapy because I feared that I might have the same initial side effects as I experienced the first time. Thankfully I was fine.

After my surgery was rescheduled, I realized it was time to consciously revisit the framework. I needed to give this latest challenge the psychological energy to force myself to step back and view the situation positively. It’s inconvenient to have to do this all the time, but I know it helps me. I needed to remind myself that this drug was a miracle drug for me. I had to thank the doctors for their expertise and advice to make the surgery a success. This time, I was more worried because the period without anticancer drugs was longer and there were side effects. But I knew I would get through it like I used to. Ultimately, I already knew that this oral chemo was going to be so transformative for me that whatever experience I had to go through would be worth it.

After listening to Rabbi Dr. Abraham J. Twersky’s lectures, I learned to develop a habit of reframing. I wanted to share this method of cognitively identifying each challenge and consciously empowering myself to change my response in a positive direction. I have found this process to be invaluable as it works for me. I think the goal is to find what works for you and always make sure your glass is at least half full so you can stay hopeful.

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