PAT NEAL: Twilight forever and ever

THERE IS A TROUBLE trend in modern journalism in which journalists use fleeting celebrity references as an excuse for responsible reporting. It was never like that between Stephanie Meyer and me.

We have both written extensively about the Olympic Peninsula. Meyer's Twilight series of books and films about the vampires of Forks have grossed billions of dollars worldwide. My own books have grossed less than a billion dollars.

Fortunately, the financial vagaries of the publishing industry are irrelevant to the pursuit of an art form.

As writers, Ms. Meyer and I share a kinship that goes beyond words. I had dreamed that Ms. Meyer would grace us with her presence at this year's Forever Twilight Festival in Forks. But she didn't do it. She didn't write or call.

Never mind. Nothing can dampen the vibe of a true Twi-hard despite what the critics say. Newsflash ! We don't care.

The Razzies, a parody of the Academy Awards that honors the worst films of the year, gave the Twilight films nominations for Worst Picture, Worst Actress, Worst Actor, Worst Director, Worst On-Screen Couple or Together and the worst remake, rip-off or sequel.

Additionally, the Twilight films were savagely criticized bleating like wounded werewolves because of “the slow pacing, excessive length, relentlessly downbeat tone, uninspired dialogue, and unintentional humor.”

As a Twi-hard journalist, all I can say is that sticks and stones may break my bones, but these words simply ripped out my still beating heart and threw it under the golden boot of a self-proclaimed cultural elite who would not know it. real entertainment if he hooks them with a treble hook.

Who cares what the critics think?

Twilight is just the latest in a series of films based or filmed on the Olympic Peninsula. The critics denigrated them all.

There was “The Hunted” with Tommy Lee Jones, filmed at Lake Aldwell Dam in 2003. One critic said, “The quality of 'The Hunted' may have been weakened by the physical beatings the actors and The team endured during filming in wild and humid nature. .”

The final scenes of “Wyatt Earp” starring Kevin Costner were filmed in Freshwater Bay in 1994. “Wyatt Earp” was nominated for several Razzies, including worst film, remake, director, actor and on-screen couple.

“An Officer and a Gentleman” starring Richard Gere and Debra Winger was filmed in Port Townsend in 1982. It was called “a film about the blue-collar and the downtrodden.”

Critics said the 1967 Disney classic “Charlie the Lonesome Cougar,” filmed at the Olympic Game Farm, had a “cast of flat human performances.”

They said Herb Crisler used tame elk in his 1949 Disney film “The Olympic Elk.”

None of them live up to the criticism that has hit the biggest film ever made on the Olympic Peninsula. Based on Betty McDonald's best-selling memoir about two newlyweds taking over an abandoned chicken farm in the Chimacum wilderness, “The Egg and Me” was released in 1947, starring Fred McMurry and Claudette Colbert. “Egg and I” spawned eight other “Ma and Pa Kettle” films. One of them earned Marjorie Main an Academy Award nomination for Best Supporting Actress.

As expected, critics and locals were not amused. Critics argue that Betty's writings were racist and sexist.

Unfortunately, these stereotypes were social norms by the end of World War II. She was sued by her neighbors who claimed they had been ridiculed for being ignorant boors.

Betty settled out of court and moved to California, where she wrote about tuberculosis in a book called “The Plague and Me.”

All this proves that you can't keep a good writer down. Twilight forever? Yes!

_________

Pat Neal is a Hoh River fishing and rafting guide and “nature gossip columnist” whose column appears here every Wednesday.

He can be contacted at 360-683-9867 or by email via [email protected].