Sports
‘Cricket is a game of failure’
When Stuart Meaker went through a divorce two years ago, he started talking to a therapist. He realized that there is no quick fix when mental health issues arise, and he has continued those sessions every few weeks, well beyond the first three months or so, which seems normal when someone seeks help during a difficult life event.
During that time, Meaker, the Sussex sailor who was once on the fast track to England, learned a lot about quick fixes.
“What a lot of people do when they go through difficult life circumstances or a breakup is they throw themselves wholeheartedly into their job and their career, their cricket, whatever it is, because it’s a great distraction,” Meaker tells ESPNcricinfo.
Unfortunately mine wasn’t. I was emotional all over. I was going out too much, not as hard as I could or should have worked out. I chased girls because I thought, ‘well, it gives me a boost of self-esteem “It’s a quick one-night fix, but it doesn’t quite fulfill who you are.”
That’s true, he says, a conversation with a mental health professional helped.
“I think it really all comes down to learning to just be okay and comfortable with myself and my own company,” says Meaker. “I think the role of a therapist is to take someone to a place where they are just okay and comfortable with themselves.”
That experience confirmed something Meaker knew existed, even though he hadn’t given it a name.
Self-doubt, insecurity and fear of failure, fueled by the delicate balance of in-form and out of grace that is such a prominent part of the life of an elite cricketer, manifested in fear. For Meaker, his ability to sleep was compromised, not ideal for anyone, let alone a fast bowler trying to push his body – and mind – to some imposing limits.
“I can get terribly anxious, usually especially around cricket,” says Meaker. “Because you want to do it right and you are desperate to prove yourself even after playing the game for 14 years.
“When you’ve been through good times and bad and you change clubs and all those things you still want to do right, and the problem is your brain turns on and it just won’t stop.
“You’re bombarded by, ‘What if I don’t do it right?’ or “I want to do it right.” You keep thinking about the game, you think about everything. You don’t stay in the moment, you think about tomorrow and the next day. “
Meaker says he’s carried those kinds of concerns throughout his career. Now he is working on ways to combat it.
“I’ve played countless cricket matches, nothing will go up and down and play unexpectedly the next day,” he says. “So why am I constantly thinking about it and worrying about how it will go?
“You constantly wonder if you still have to play and if you deserve to be there. Whether you can keep pushing yourself through.”
Meaker was once considered the fastest bowler in England, clocked at 95 mph during ECB trials in Loughborough.
After playing two ODIs in India in 2011, he traveled back the following year as a limitless member of the victorious England Test squad. Two T20I matches against India immediately after Test series remain his last international appearances.
Meaker toured New Zealand with England in 2013, but injury problems began to mount and he underwent knee and shoulder surgery.
He played for England Lions in the winter of 2016-17, but then injuries and competition for places at Surrey – the club he was a member of as a 13-year-old and represented at senior level from 2008 – meant that he was in just one championship game. played. in 2018 and 2019.
“There are days when you think, ‘I could play this game forever,’ and then there are days when you think, ‘I just don’t know if I can handle going in today'”
Stuart Meaker
Early last year, about to turn 31, Meaker sought and was released from Surrey with one more year on his contract and joined Sussex in an attempt to revive his career.
That remains a work in progress after three appearances at the Bob Willis Trophy, yielding two wickets and five wickets so far this championship season.
“Cricket is a game of failure and it helps with those concerns,” says Meaker. “You might be in the best shape of your life, you could get an unplayable ball the next day and that’s that.
“It’s very difficult for people who fight with it when things aren’t going so well because they worry about controlling things that are ultimately beyond control.”
So how is he now? Meaker does not pretend and admits that he still has “ups and downs,” which makes focusing on his mental health an ongoing proposition rather than something that can be quickly resolved.
“There are days when you think, ‘I could play this game forever,’ and then there are days when you think, ‘I just don’t know if I can handle it today,’ he says, to find coping strategies for that.
“For me that’s the hardest part, the constant up and down. When people are hot in cricket, that’s the best thing to be because you don’t have to worry.
“It’s when you’re not blowing that hot, and those in-between times when you’ve broken your belly during the winter, worked out harder than you’ve ever trained, and you’re just not getting quite the results you’re likely to want.
“I could end up playing another game and all of a sudden I’m taking 10-for and everything is hunky dory, ‘I’m going to play this game for the next five to ten years.’ That is the struggle that you constantly go through. “
Meaker believes that a trigger for the fear some cricketers – and no doubt other elite athletes – feel about their performance is that their success on the sports field is inseparable from their identity. They played and shined from an early age, and they feel like they have always been known as “Stuart the cricketer,” as he puts it.
“Even if it’s just something you do, it’s not who you are, your identity and how you talk to and interact with people, that becomes who you are because that’s how everyone knows you,” he says.
“If you’re worried about how the game is going and how it isn’t going so well, it can have a huge impact on the game and on your self-esteem and how you might transition outside of the game. Stuart the cricketer? “
Cricket has come in to normalize the discussion of mental health and treat it as an area to be developed, just as physical abilities are nurtured. The ECB is recruiting someone to care for the mental well-being of players amid concerns about the effects of extended periods in bio-safe bubbles, while some teams already have special structures in place to ensure mental health is a concern.
The Professional Cricketers ‘Association, in partnership with the Professional Cricketers’ Trust, provides mental health support, education programs and advice to players to prepare for a life beyond cricket.
But in top sport, the perception remains – often among those who suffer from mental health problems as well as their teammates or competitors – that talking about it is a ‘weakness’. The fact that players now recognize and act “bubble fatigue”, either by resting or moving out of those environments, suggests that the barriers are disappearing.
“The problem with mental health and working on things is it’s a habit, it’s a habit,” says Meaker. “You can try it here and there for a week or a month, but that doesn’t really solve your problems, make changes, or create good habits.
“That’s the hard part. Like going on a diet or a New Year’s resolution, you start doing it for two weeks, a month and then it just fades, falls from there. The successful ones, the ones that really get to grips with it. They’re good.” in curing problems, they create the daily habits they need and they live their lives accordingly.
“I wouldn’t say I’m still here, no, certainly not,” he adds with a laugh.
A cricketer’s lifestyle does not lend itself to forming and sticking to good habits. Traveling between matches that require intense focus for up to four or five days at a time means pushing other aspects of life to the perimeter.
Lockdown didn’t help, and Meaker is well aware that people across the country from all walks of life have struggled and are still struggling for the past year, be it financial hardship, feelings of isolation or health issues and the effects of those problems. have on mental health.
“Not only do you have all these concerns, you are also disconnected, much more than ever before,” he says. “Because you can’t meet people socially, you don’t get that little boost of interaction, that dopamine kick you would normally get from having a good conversation or hugging a partner, or some of your worries.”
In January, Sussex launched the Sussex Cricket Mental Health & Wellbeing Hub to help the community deal with problems exacerbated by the Covid-19 pandemic. One of the resources and videos of people sharing their experiences with mental health issues is Sarah Taylor, the former England wicket-keeper who is now a wicket-keeping coach on the Sussex men’s team, who talks about her struggles with anxiety. Meaker is there too, talking about his career and encouraging sports bodies to educate entire teams about what they can do to be aware of people experiencing mental health issues in their midst.
Meaker says he is still learning about mental health himself, but he’s walking a lot further than before.
“Whether I can implement it right away, maybe not, but at least I understand a little bit more,” he says. “The next part is how seriously I want to take it and what habits I want to create that will really help me get better with my mental health.”
Valkerie Baynes is the general editor at ESPNcricinfo
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