How does life change when you are diagnosed with breast cancer?

Our son was born without complications despite receiving chemotherapy in utero from week 26. He is now 6 years old. His brothers are 8 and 10 years old. They have all seen me have treatments and side effects. They know what cancer is, but we don’t really talk about it. Tom and I decided to tell them what was going on when things started to go downhill.

Metastatic breast cancer cannot be cured, but better treatments will help more women live longer. For the past 18 months, I’ve been taking three different medications that didn’t work. I’m taking a new drug now, but the cancer is slowly spreading again. Two days ago I asked an oncologist, is this our last chance? She said no to me.

I live every day for another 6 months. I don’t look sick that can sometimes be a double-edged sword. I want people to see who I am, my friends, my wife, my mother, my daughter. But at the same time, I need them to understand my limits.

At one point I was in the playground with my kid throwing a giant tantrum. I couldn’t bend over to pick her up because of my spine. Others were looking at me wondering why I didn’t help my daughter. It is difficult for people to judge you without knowing your story. No one really knows what someone else is experiencing, so be kind and remind me not to judge. “

“I believed that men couldn’t get breast cancer.”

When Melbourne bus driver David Cowan, 64, was diagnosed with breast cancer in 2017, he was incredible and then devastated. Currently, he is determined to encourage other men to check for breast changes on a regular basis.

“One morning, when I felt a lump in my chest, I was taking a shower. I thought it was ingrown hair or something. A few weeks later, I didn’t do anything until I noticed it was growing. I had my wife Debra look at me. She told me to see a doctor right away.

Most men are reluctant to go to the doctor. I think it will disappear if you ignore the symptoms. Fortunately, my wife was a nurse or would have been waiting longer. I had a mammogram and an ultrasound, but the test didn’t work. A biopsy confirmed that I had grade 3 breast cancer.

I felt devastated because I honestly believed that men couldn’t get breast cancer. I thought it was a woman’s illness. But suddenly I booked myself to get rid of the chest tissue. The breast cancer clinic was only for me and all these women, so I felt it was very out of place.

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The whole thing was very difficult. Compared to the next 6 months of chemotherapy, my surgery was an easy part.

Chemotherapy lifts your brain. that’s terrible. I was always feeling tired and in pain. Now I’m using tamoxifen. Tamoxifen has side effects such as headache, diarrhea, nausea, insomnia and heart problems. I have to take it for at least 5 years, so I have 2 more years.

I was embarrassed to talk about my breast cancer. Then I told myself, you have to let other broke know about this. Now I’m happy to talk to everyone about it, especially men. I tell them to take a test if they notice something unusual. Don’t ignore it.

There was a time when I thought it might not come out. It’s not embarrassing to say that I thought about suicide. I went to see a psychologist who really helped me. Now I thank God for my family every day. Without their love and support, I wouldn’t have been anywhere. We have now moved from Melbourne and I have learned to slow down. I’m still driving the bus, but it’s part time. There is no obvious day. We think it’s bulletproof, but having a diagnosis like this shows how precious life is. “

“Collaboration with cancer patients is very rewarding.”

Dr. Charlotte Totman, 57, an Adelaide psycho-oncology scholar, has been counseling cancer patients since 2013. When she was diagnosed with breast cancer in 2018, she took a new approach.

“My background was in the corporate sector, but in my mid-40s I got a PhD in clinical psychology and found a niche in psycho-oncology. Working with cancer patients is very rewarding. Many of these In the case of, it is a privilege to walk with someone who has a long, complex and harsh experience.

My parents died of cancer when I was in my twenties, and all four of my grandparents had some form of cancer. Nevertheless, when I was diagnosed with breast cancer in 2018, I couldn’t believe it. We were on vacation. When I felt a lump on my right chest, I was applying sunscreen. When we got home, a free health check card from BreastScreen Australia was buried in a large amount of mail. I saw it and thought, well, if there was any problem, this would pick it up.

I planned for next week, but didn’t admit to myself that something was wrong already. At one level, I believed this couldn’t happen to me. I was different. I was a health expert. I told myself that getting cancer wouldn’t have the same effect as many clients.

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Of course, I soon realized that I was no different from anyone else. This is one of my greatest learnings. A few weeks later, I was diagnosed with breast cancer. Thankfully, it didn’t spread. I discussed treatment options with my doctor and my husband Robin. Due to my family history, we decided to have a bilateral mastectomy.

If it could save my life, I thought I had to do it. All four of our adult children were out of the house, so I didn’t need my breasts anymore. I also decided to oppose reconstructive surgery. Many women, and certainly many of my clients, are under pressure to undergo breast reconstruction. However, reconstructive surgery is a great effort and often involves multiple surgeries, many recovery times, and the potential for some serious complications.

My own cancer experience certainly gave me a pause to look back on my clinical practice. One thing I have come to understand is the fear of recurrence. The idea that once you are diagnosed, the cancer may come back with you forever. It’s a very visceral horror, and I don’t think it’s completely understandable without experiencing it. There is no guarantee that you will be on level ground forever. My job, afraid of recurrence, is much better than before.

Also, I am keenly aware that each person’s experience is different now. I always knew it intellectually, but from my own experience you may have the same clinical diagnosis as others, but your reaction to cancer psychologically and physically Will never be the same as anyone else. “

Breast Cancer Network Australia has released a special 10-part podcast series with Dr. Charlotte Tottman. Prepaid for breast cancerAvailable at bcna.org.au..
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This article will be displayed in Sunday life Magazine in Saint Herald And that Sunday age Released on October 17th. For more information on Sunday Life, please visit: Sydney Morning Herald When Age..

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