Health
celebrating my cancer survivorship
I’ve never made a New Year’s resolution, but since I was diagnosed with stage 3B colorectal cancer in 2018, every year we’ve all struggled with the resolutions we might have promised this year. I know Each year I try a new challenge to celebrate cancer survival.
That fall, when I was undergoing chemotherapy, I knew my goal for 2019 was to survive cancer. I had to undergo some more treatments for early 2019. At the time, I honestly lived in a fog of depression and fear that my cancer would return.
As I was having my last oncology appointment for the year, my oncologist asked if I had any goals for next year. . He paused for a moment and then said to me. He was so confident in his words that I began to believe him.
A few weeks later, I was wandering around the house. I was just beginning to accept that there was no evidence of disease.
One day my wife said to me, I decided she was right and I needed to find the passion for life that cancer had taken away from me. Losing identity and purpose in life can be agonizing for cancer survivors. Now that I’ve found my New Year’s goals, I had to find what I’m passionate about in this life again. I knew there were three components to this passion: my wife who believed in me, my children who loved me, and, oddly enough, the cancer I was battling at the time.
At that point, I decided that maybe I could end cancer, but cancer wasn’t the end. Every goal should have a mission statement. I think I’ve found my stuff, and a passion that goes with it. I had to figure out what I was trying to do about it.
In the months to come, I will learn that goals cannot be achieved alone and require the support of others to make them happen. It didn’t pass.
At the beginning of 2020, I decided to continue building my life as an advocate for others, especially men, battling cancer. I joined his Facebook group at manuptocancer.com, created by my friend and fellow cancer survivor Trevor Maxwell, called “The Howling Place.” We affectionately call them “wolfpacks” because of the way wolves tend to each other in packs. I’ve been working so hard over the past few weeks that he asked me to be the group’s lead administrator. I was looking for a way to encourage a man battling cancer and thought this might be it.
I soon found that to be true. I started inviting all the men I knew who had fought and survived cancer to join the group. participate in The group now has 2,000 male members.
A few months later my wife said to me: I think she was right and she couldn’t have done it without her. I had a passion for being an advocate for the cancer community. Over the next few years, I struggled with survivor guilt and tried to find a foothold as a cancer advocate. It helped me emotionally connect with my cancer.
In 2023, my goal is to continue to build my role as a patient advocate and support other cancer survivors in their fight against cancer through the various organizations I am involved with. I would love to have the opportunity to meet local members of the Howling Place group over lunch or coffee. I wanted it when I was first diagnosed, but it wasn’t available at the time. It was hard to find people, especially men, to talk to about cancer. This is a goal I try to work towards with the help of others because no one can be a lone wolf in cancer survivorship.
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