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Dear Annie: We waste beautiful days by feeling miserable

By Annie Lane

Update: ten hours ago Published: 1 a day ago

Annie is off this week. This column was first published in 2021.

Dear Annie: I notice that many readers have problems and anxieties. Maybe something my mother taught me will help them.

She lost two husbands to the disease and suffered from chronic illness herself. We almost lost my brother the same day my father died. She raised three boys in a small town by taking whatever job was available. Despite all these difficult times, she always found something to make us laugh. People loved his laugh and his smiling face. There is of course a fine line between laughing and crying. I know she went through it several times, but few knew that.

I was married for 62 years. Our disagreements were short-lived as one of us made the other laugh. There is a side benefit to this type of lifestyle. When she died at the age of 82, none of us had any wrinkles.

In business, I printed little yellow cards with the word SMILE and handed them out. Many people have told me that they put it on their bathroom mirror and always start their day with a smile.

Whatever your problem is today, you won't remember it in six months. Why waste a great day by feeling miserable. There are other things to think about. If life hits you hard and you don't know what to do, remember this.

You don't drown by falling into the water; we'll drown if we stay there.

-Larry T.

Dear Larry: Thanks for the big smile and the great perspective. I'm grateful for people like you who find small ways to make the world brighter.

Dear Annie: About a year ago, I ended my very first relationship. We were together for about six months. He was a horrible boyfriend, but that was only the beginning. He sexually violated me the entire time we were together. He didn't listen to a single thing I asked him to do or not to do. He would kiss me even when I told him I didn't want to kiss him, sit next to me when I told him I wasn't comfortable with it, and touch my legs no matter what I did.

When this happened, I blamed myself. I thought I was just afraid to do all this because I had never done it before. But now I realize it wasn't my fault.

I haven't seen or spoken to him since I broke up with him. But since then, I have been tortured by thinking about him. Everything reminds me of him and makes me anxious. I told myself that things would get better and that in a month I would be back to normal. But it's been a year and I still feel tortured remembering what happened. Every night I'm afraid to go to sleep because my dreams are filled with his sexual abuse. What should I do?

— Desperate

Dear Desperate: It's horrible that your ex-boyfriend treats you so badly. Intimate relationships are based on feeling safe enough with each other to be vulnerable. He turned the situation around. I'm sorry this happened. But I promise you won't feel like this forever. With the help of the right people, you can understand what happened, seek justice, and start living life again. Call the National Sexual Assault Hotline at 1-800-656-4673 or visit rainn.org to connect with qualified specialists who can help you identify the next steps on the road to recovery.

Sources

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2/ https://www.adn.com/alaska-life/advice/2024/04/21/dear-annie-we-ruin-beautiful-days-feeling-miserable/

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