The Golden Bachelor Divorce Killed My Belief in Love

Like the rest of groggy and caffeinated America, this morning I woke up to the crazy news that Gerry Turner and Theresa Nist, the first Golden Baccalaureate couple, decided to divorce. The news comes just three (yes, three!) months after the very first Golden Wedding aired on ABC. And listen: this special was not short.

Viewers were completely stunned. I still have milk in the fridge from when this was written, a comment on an article about the split posted on Instagram read. As a loyal viewer myself, I'm here with the rest of Bachelor Nation. Shocked. Mystified. Feeling a little er, dare I say, duped? Even though this is reality TV, which ultimately is designed for our entertainment, it's incredibly difficult to understand how short-lived this marriage was. I'm not saying seventy-somethings should stay in unhappy marriages just because they're, you know, so old. But I also say: what happened in this cool hell?

This feeling of astonishment resonates on the Internet today. This is particularly astonishing, perhaps, because The Golden BachelorThe first race was exceptionally hopeful, much more so than previous seasons of The single person And The Bachelorette. Women fell in love with Gerry, and he fell in love with them. And the recurring phrase we heard over and over again was also optimistic: you can find love at any age.

The fact that the series ended with a wedding really made us believe in this principle, at least, hoping that it was true. The divorced (like me), the widowed, and even the elderly had hope that their chances of love had not faded as the lines around their eyes deepened. Sigh.

Hope wasn't the only reason the show was so massively popular in its inaugural season. The older, wiser women were much nicer to look at than the younger competitors we are used to seeing; they were mostly kind to each other and full of class and wisdom. They had interesting jobs and lives and seemed to know what they wanted. Even those who weren't able to attend the final rose ceremony were so well received that they have their own podcasts and projects that are widely followed.

Viewers undoubtedly loved it The Golden Bachelor, but they also had a lot more confidence in the contestants and, as a result, the experience of watching the show was different. Perhaps even more authentic. It was hard to hear when rumors about Gerry came out around the time of the last episode. And when finalist Leslie Fhima criticized him on the After the Final Rose special about essentially lying to her on their last few dates together, it felt more disgusting than in previous seasons of The single person. Gerry should know better, many viewers thought (and vocally talked about it on the Internet). And I mean YEAH.

Yet as the rumors about Gerry faded The Golden BachelorToday, the biggest disappointment is that the happy talk about love late in life has just been completely dismantled. Torn. Decimated. Absolutely no one expected a Britney's long-term marriage from seventy years old (okay, except maybe Leslie Fhima). However, three months later, Gerry and Theresa are no more. While they swore, in front of the entire country, to love each other to the death, to support each other through thick and thin, it only took them 90 days to completely change course. And it almost seems like in trying to prove that you can find love at any age, and maybe even a deeper love born of wisdom and better self-knowledge later in life, they proved… exactly the opposite.

Relationships are difficult, no matter your age. It's true. But there's no doubt that some people have a harder time committing than others. And honestly? If you have been alone for many, many years, perhaps merging your life with someone else's is simply an impossible task. As a divorced single mother who has been alone for the better part of a decade and increasingly feels like my life is better spent not looking for the perfect relationship, I feel this on a personal level.

I've had a few short-term relationships in recent years; the compromise is always too great. These days, I often wonder if efforts to find a partner are futile because, ultimately, I am a committed mother with a teenage daughter and a 10-year-old son. I have a full-time job, worries, pets, and a house to take care of. Right now, a partnership seems hard to swallow for everyone. But perhaps, more than anyone, for me. I love sleeping alone and lying in bed every night. I'm becoming a creature of habit even more than I'd like to admit. I'm solid in my solo life, and it would take a lot, perhaps a level of perfection that doesn't exist, to change that.

While the whole charade is nothing short of shocking, Gerry and Theresa said this morning that while they are still in love, it is their commitment to each of their families that has made their marriage a dead end. This is a bit of an odd excuse given that their children are adults and should be free to enjoy their lives however, wherever and with whom they want. Yet while I don't really understand everything that happens from the final rose to marriage, I do understand that relationships can become more difficult as we age.

The coupling was certainly too big a task for Gerry and Theresa. Maybe it's for me and for many of us singles after first marriage, too. And while you may be able to find love at any age, the truth is that you'll probably have to give up a lot of things to make it last. And there’s nothing gold about it.