Sports
I cut back my unloved football and forty years later I still live with the shame Adrian Chiles
HHow long should guilt last? When I was a boy, about ten years old, I had a football that I kicked around for years, with my friends, with my brother or all alone, aimlessly dribbling around or kicking it against a wall. This ball gave me some status, because it was what we used to call a caser, a word I haven't used in over forty years. A caser meant it was a real football, with a rubber bladder on the inside and leather on the outside. This was unlike a very cheap plastic ball that blew around in the wind, or a ball made of thicker plastic and made to look like a caser. The latter was more respectable than the former, but it wasn't, you know, a caser.
I had this ball for a long time, and grew from only being able to do five keep-ups to maybe ten. Yes, I was that gifted. It was the 1970s, at the beginning of that decade Adidas had invented its Telstar ball for the 1970 World Cup. It was made of 32 leather panels, consisting of 12 black pentagons and 20 white hexagons. My caser was modeled after that caser. It was probably a gift from my grandpa, but I don't remember what it looked like when it was new, only what it looked like when it was old, when the panels weren't black or white, just brown, after all the color had gone out was thrown from them.
By then I wanted a new one, a shiny new ball, probably the Tango that Adidas made for the 1978 World Cup, which, intoxicatingly, had twelve fewer panels. But my mother said no. She said my ball was perfectly fine, and that all I could hope for was a new one if it was unusable. She had a point. My caser, while a deep uninteresting uniform brown, was still round enough and hard enough for football purposes. I don't remember kicking the poor thing around with increasing force for what could have been hours, days, weeks, or months, hoping to hasten the end of its useful life. Eventually I noticed that some of the stitching was loose, revealing a bit of bright orange bubble.
No, my mother said: I'm still fine. More furious kicks followed, none of which brought the dark joy of deflation. So I'm sorry I did something terrible. I took my trusty, loved and then unloved caser to a quiet place and stuck a pocket knife into the bit of exposed bladder. To this day I can hear the sound my poor old ball made as he took his last breath. Actually, it was less of a sigh than a sigh of pure sadness and disappointment. I would let my mother down, I would let myself down, and I would let my caser down, in more ways than one. I lost all thoughts of the shiny new ball. I burst into tears and ran to my mother.
The terrible irony is that it was my tears of shame that led me to escape punishment for my terrible crime. Mom thought I was crying about my dropped ball, which I was, but not in the way she thought. The price I paid was, quite frankly, a lifetime of guilt. I think it was because I got away with it. If I had not, I would have been punished and my sin would have been atoned for somehow. If she had seen what I had done, I would undoubtedly have received a sound beating. If she reads this, another sound beating could follow and the matter would be settled.
As it was, I was given a new ball, which I could never convince myself of like the old one, and also a small, orange-colored shame spot on my soul that I can never shift. It's about right for me, as my mother will tell me any day now.
|
Sources 2/ https://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2024/apr/17/i-slashed-my-unloved-football-and-40-years-later-im-still-living-with-the-shame The mention sources can contact us to remove/changing this article |
What Are The Main Benefits Of Comparing Car Insurance Quotes Online
LOS ANGELES, CA / ACCESSWIRE / June 24, 2020, / Compare-autoinsurance.Org has launched a new blog post that presents the main benefits of comparing multiple car insurance quotes. For more info and free online quotes, please visit https://compare-autoinsurance.Org/the-advantages-of-comparing-prices-with-car-insurance-quotes-online/ The modern society has numerous technological advantages. One important advantage is the speed at which information is sent and received. With the help of the internet, the shopping habits of many persons have drastically changed. The car insurance industry hasn't remained untouched by these changes. On the internet, drivers can compare insurance prices and find out which sellers have the best offers. View photos The advantages of comparing online car insurance quotes are the following: Online quotes can be obtained from anywhere and at any time. Unlike physical insurance agencies, websites don't have a specific schedule and they are available at any time. Drivers that have busy working schedules, can compare quotes from anywhere and at any time, even at midnight. Multiple choices. Almost all insurance providers, no matter if they are well-known brands or just local insurers, have an online presence. Online quotes will allow policyholders the chance to discover multiple insurance companies and check their prices. Drivers are no longer required to get quotes from just a few known insurance companies. Also, local and regional insurers can provide lower insurance rates for the same services. Accurate insurance estimates. Online quotes can only be accurate if the customers provide accurate and real info about their car models and driving history. Lying about past driving incidents can make the price estimates to be lower, but when dealing with an insurance company lying to them is useless. Usually, insurance companies will do research about a potential customer before granting him coverage. Online quotes can be sorted easily. Although drivers are recommended to not choose a policy just based on its price, drivers can easily sort quotes by insurance price. Using brokerage websites will allow drivers to get quotes from multiple insurers, thus making the comparison faster and easier. For additional info, money-saving tips, and free car insurance quotes, visit https://compare-autoinsurance.Org/ Compare-autoinsurance.Org is an online provider of life, home, health, and auto insurance quotes. This website is unique because it does not simply stick to one kind of insurance provider, but brings the clients the best deals from many different online insurance carriers. In this way, clients have access to offers from multiple carriers all in one place: this website. On this site, customers have access to quotes for insurance plans from various agencies, such as local or nationwide agencies, brand names insurance companies, etc. "Online quotes can easily help drivers obtain better car insurance deals. All they have to do is to complete an online form with accurate and real info, then compare prices", said Russell Rabichev, Marketing Director of Internet Marketing Company. CONTACT: Company Name: Internet Marketing CompanyPerson for contact Name: Gurgu CPhone Number: (818) 359-3898Email: [email protected]: https://compare-autoinsurance.Org/ SOURCE: Compare-autoinsurance.Org View source version on accesswire.Com:https://www.Accesswire.Com/595055/What-Are-The-Main-Benefits-Of-Comparing-Car-Insurance-Quotes-Online View photos
to request, modification Contact us at Here or [email protected]
 |
 |
 |
